This is part 12 of a series on the evolution of human mating behavior. Please see the introduction here.

This video is a lecture by the cultural anthropologist William Jankowiak speaking at my alma mater, Binghamton University, on what he calls the “tripartite conundrum” between romantic love, companion love, and sexual desire. I think he has several insights, but realize that the lecture is lengthy.  If you can’t listen to it in its entirety, here is the heart of the matter:

“No culture is ever completely successful or satisfied with its synthesis or reconciliation of passionate, companion, or romantic love and sexual desire.

Whether in a technological metropolis, or in a simple farming community, there’s tension between sexual mores and the prescriptions governing the proper conduct for the expression of love.

Western societies are not unique in their ambivalence. We know from historical and ethnographic fact that there are no reported cultures where passion and affections are equally valued. One is always the more dominant value over the other… One passion is always a subset of an other… In short, no culture ever gets it right…

What human communities have in common is a universal compulsion to make a working piece with a three-way conflict between romantic love, companion love, and sexual expression. Every community must decide whether to synthesize, separate, blend, discount, stress, ignore one or the other.”

.